Okay, Mom. Yes, your job as a mother is important. Yes, your children LOVE you in a special way. And yes, you have to take advantage of this time with your children while it is available to you! BUT - don't forget, you didn't create these children on your own! Who helped? Creating children takes 3 - not one! A WOMAN, a MAN and GOD! And everyone must be included in the process of raising your child!
As a homemaker (and babysitter) I am with my kids all day, every day! We have a GREAT time, and I love being able to spend so much time with them, but let's not kid ourselves, Moms - WE NEED SOME HELP! Getting help from our Lord, Jesus is easy. We can pray for our children, teach our children about Him and His ways, and teach our children to pray. But Dad? That's a tough one!
Women are created by God as nurturing beings, Men are usually just not quite the same!
Here are 6 ways that I have found to be TRIED AND TRUE to Get Dad Involved:
1) Respect differences! Mothers parent differently than fathers! I have noticed with our boys that there are major differences in the way my husband holds our children, plays, talks with and disciplines them. It’s important for me not to expect Dad to do everything just how I do and to be accepting of his methods. Just because his style is different doesn’t mean it’s wrong!
2) Be Specific! I used to tend to make the statements to my husband that I needed more “help.” That doesn’t give him much direction of what is needed! To get more response - moms should try to be more specific about what it is they would like dad to do. For example, mom could state she needs dad to help more with toy clean up, giving baths, driving to extra curricular activities, etc. He might NEVER know what you need or want help with when it comes to the kids, so you MUST tell him!
3) Avoid Gate-keeping. Many moms take the reigns of raising the kids and try to do it all! Then when they get frustrated they look at dad and wonder why he’s not more involved! (I myself learned quickly with our first, okay-this is not meant to be done alone!) Get dad involved from the beginning and try not to hover over him! I know that I have a tendency to want to step in if my husband is having a difficult time when it’s better to give him the chance to figure out a solution, which will help him feel more confident later!
4) Make it Enjoyable! If children only see dad as the one that dishes out discipline then the kids and dad are really missing out! You remember being little and getting in trouble with Dad, right? It was a BIG deal, and we don't want that to be the only thing that our child remembers about time with their father! Moms should try giving dad plenty of opportunity to do fun activities with dad and not just call him into the picture if there is a discipline problem.
5) Give Praise! A great way to get dad more involved is to recognize what he does and compliment him on his efforts. Many men (like my hubby) are working behind the scenes to do things for their family and often those efforts go unnoticed. Dads are often economic providers, teach morals, are role models, playmates and give support to moms. They deserve more praise than we often remember to give them! I know my husband does, I LOVE YOU, ERIC! ;)
6) Avoid Overprotecting! Let’s face it, dads like to play rougher than most moms are comfortable with. Can you say, "Uncle Dustin and the famous flying child?" There is one in every family! Usually Dads are just this way! Try to look the other way and let them have some fun instead of overprotecting the kids and putting a stop to their roughhousing.
7) Team Effort! Perhaps the most important thing to keep in mind when getting dad involved is that parenting is a team effort!
So what do our Christian husbands need to know? The best commandment in the Scripture that I have found is this: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength" (Deuteronomy 6:5). And in verse 2, we read, "...so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life." The following verses state, "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up" (verses 6-7).
Also, Ephesians 6:4 is a summary of instruction to parents, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
I believe that the Christian father is really the instrument in God's hand! Christian discipline from both mother AND father is needed to prevent children from growing up without reverence for God, respect for parental authority, knowledge of Christian standards, and habits of self-control.
As the father is faithful in role modeling, what a child learns about God will stand your child on solid ground throughout their earthly lives, no matter what they do or where they go!
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment