Molding Your Children To Be Self-Disciplined

Self-Discipline - it's a BIGGIE!!! I'm talking to parents of toddlers here - now is the crucial time!!! Don't wait!!!

As a parent and a childcare provider, I find myself correcting children for interrupting, being wild, not following instructions or for not controlling their hands or mouths. These all require self discipline or self-control.

Young children (especially ages 2-5) are by nature very impulsive. Part of the solution for impulse control is to learn self discipline! So many relational and personal problems now and in your child's future can be avoided or controlled when one has self-control!

Here are some TRIED AND TRUE suggestions for teaching it to children:

1. Teach children to come when they are called! When a parent calls a child, that child shouldn’t yell, “What?” from across the house, parking lot or playground. (This drives me bonkers!!!)Children can learn to come to the parent, within a few feet, in order to have a dialog with the parent. This helps children learn that self-control sometimes means that we must give up what we would like to be doing in order to do something else. If you have a young child with a favorite toy, you know that this can be very difficult for them. Put the toy down to go see what Mom wants? Are you kidding me? ;)

2. Teach children to respond positively to correction. Woah-tough! Most children don’t like to be corrected and respond negatively in either aggressive (anger) or passive (bad attitude) ways. This is unacceptable and becomes a super opportunity to teach self discipline! Teach children to respond to direction (whether they like it or not) with a good attitude as well as right behavior. This requires self-control and helps children learn to control their impulses!

3. A number of social skills require self-control. Praise your children when they demonstrate this quality and point out areas they need to work on. Listening, knowing when and how to interrupt, anger control, reporting back after completing a task all require self discipline. I have found that talking about all of these things throughout the day until my son BEGAN to take control really made a big difference!

4. Encourage your children to take on activities that build self discipline! They may include sports, music lessons, memorization of scripture, a clean room, or a host of other activities!

5. When a child receives a reward like payment for a job accomplished or even a star on a chart or special treat, talk about self discipline. External rewards give a great opportunity to talk about internal rewards. The real benefit to a doing chores is not the money, it’s the building of self discipline. “I know you would have rather played the game but I like the way you took time to feed the dog. That shows self discipline!”

6. Use bed times to teach self discipline! Some children have a hard time going to bed without creating a battle and this becomes a great opportunity to teach self discipline to children. After all, it requires a lot of self-control for a child to stay quietly in bed while parents are still awake! You are shaking your head right now, because you know EXACTLY what I am talking about! :) Set a bedtime, develop a routine which covers all the necessary bedtime tasks and work at getting your child to stay in bed without Mom or Dad falling asleep in the room! This requires work on the part of the parent but will pay off tremendous dividends in the end. Trust me! WHEW!

7. Morning routines, chores, and family schedules become opportunities for children to learn responsibility and self discipline. Teach your child that Responsibility is “doing the right thing even when no one is watching.” The rewards for being responsible are called privileges. The child who is responsible to get ready and be at breakfast by 7:30 a.m. is allowed the privilege of staying up until their 8:00 p.m. bedtime! Being able to choose one’s clothes is the privilege for getting dressed before the deadline.

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Some parents may try to give their children an easier life than they had or they try to make their children feel good at the expense of good character. Unfortunately, this often translates into more freedom and less self-control! It's not okay!

A wise parent will use childhood to prepare a child for success as an adult. Self discipline is one of the most important character qualities your child can develop! Ironically, spoiled children are not happy; self disciplined children often are!

So teach your little ones, Many times we want to do something and feel that we cannot wait, but when we do wait and exercise patience, we discover that we really did not want it in the first place. No impulse! We must learn to control our actions and feelings!

__For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline. 2Timothy 1:7 __

Do not be afraid to teach self-discipline to your children! This will SURELY help them in future situations and will help them also to live a life that pleases our Lord!

Amen to that!